Episode Three Synopsis: The Dog

"Good people are the first to die." - Daniel Salazar

I still feel the need to get my summaries up for every episode, even though at this current date, we are two episodes into the second season, and episode nine will be aired later tonight.  I'm currently seeing some parallels with the writing in The Walking Dead, where we have an "easing" into the season, the episodes get very intense...I'll predict a slowish second-to-last episode for the season, with a big shebbang for the finale.

We also know, now, that season three has been approved, and they will start working on it soon.  Few things to note is that there is no "comic" to base these characters off, so unlike TWD, we know that certain characters have a fate of death, whereas others like Daryl Dixon, can be killed off at any time because he doesn't exist in the comic.  In Fear, however, I feel as though the writers are preparing us for the main focal characters to be in for the long haul.  We see that a character was killed off in the first season who was a focal character, but someone expendable.  I'm seeing that happening that only a few characters should be considered offable.

I feel though I need to summarize the episodes though, just to keep better track not just for myself, but also in my note taking during the shows, I see parallels that I get very excited to talk about in that episode.  If that makes sense.

But going back to the third episode of the series.  We were introduced to the Salazar family -- Ruben Blades' Daniel who is a barber, his wife Griselda and daughter Ofelia.  Travis and his ex-wife Liza and son Chris, who had witnessed some of the police actions and fear gripping the city.  There was a lot unknown.  Travis had talked his way into taking shelter at the shop.  Daniel reluctantly agrees.  It's tough for me to talk about Daniel in this context, knowing what I know about him now, but also from the perspective that we didn't know much about him. 

Travis, at this point, still believed in a pecking order, a natural order of protection and authority.  However, after what he witnessed with his ex and their son, it was easy to acknowledge it was all crumbling down, and quickly.  He reassures Salazar, though, that they would leave once law enforcement would handle everything.  It's increasingly clear, though, that won't happen.

The store next door catches fire, and the heat is seeping into Salazar's barber shop.  They decide as a group to leave, but Salazar tells Travis that they will run in different directions.  Yet, this is how we start to see the formation of "tribes," like we see in TWD (Rick and Daryl and Carol and all those folks who manage to regroup, etc).  If we were to see the Salazars and Manawas and Clarks together in the middle of the apocalypse, I'm sure we'd wonder how the hell they all got together. 

In this case, while running together in the middle of the riots, Griselda gets caught, Travis stays behind to rescue her, and they end up in his truck, trying to find a hospital to help Gridelda, who was injured.

In the previous episode, Travis tries to convince Maddie to "go east," and they will somehow meet them all together with his ex wife and son.  She stays firm, says they will stay (also, we have to remember her drug addicted son had a relapse and was in the hospital a few days before...running probably isn't the best idea for her at this time anyway).  Cognitive dissonance is there as she takes out a board game to play with Nick and Alicia. 

We are hearing some of the fallout of the outside.  The radio had announced that FAA has grounded all flights (note: in the middle of all this, the Fear the Walking Dead substory of Flight 462 is having their outbreak on the plane).  Meanwhile, hospitals are being overrun.  We don't see it, but we are left to imagine that people who are hospitalized with "the virus" or "the sickness" are dying, turning, and creating its own chaos there.  However, Griselda needs medical attention, and our new tribe isn't able to get it. 

Travis wants to see if he can help Daniel's family, in getting Griselda the help she needs and to keep their family together.  Daniel says, "Why, so we can stop keeping score?"  To which Travis responds, "I didn't start." 

This was something I thought was telling, and could potentially be a theme in this show.  Keeping score in a civilized society is easy.  I did X, so you do Y for me.  In this new world order, keeping score is literally a matter of life or death.  Daniel seems oddly cold and prepared for it though (and by far, Ruben Blades is an amazing actor - I am so happy he is on this show).

Back at the ranch (literally, Maddie and Travis have a ranch style home), the Clarks notice a dog in the backyard, a German Shepherd who is covered in blood.  The family, while they played Monopoly, carnage is occurring right in their backyard, literally.  They realize staying still isn't the best idea either, they are sitting ducks.  They decide to check on their neighbors, whom they know own firearms.  These neighbors are Susan and Patrick. 

Things get a little chaotic because Travis arrives with his family plus the Salazars (who obviously has not been involved in their lives until this point).  In their haste, the Clarks learn a very valuable lesson: don't leave your freaking back door open in the middle of a flippin zombie apocalypse.  The dog who had warned them of the carnage outside is now dog chow for an infected person.  I remember watching that scene, being so pissed off that they would do something so simply idiotic. 

Meanwhile, Alicia escapes unnoticed back to Susan and Patrick's home, to get more ammo, as its clear they will need to stock up.  However, this time she notices something they didn't at first: someone had been there all along, and it was Susan...who is now one of the infected.

She escapes and tries to scale the back fence and gets caught by infected Susan.  Dealing with their own walker at hand, Salazar coldly kills the infected with the gun. 

Alicia is able to scale the fence with the help of Chris, whom she injures too.  There is a minor scuffle, but it's then Alicia realizes that Matt, her boyfriend, is also one of the infected. 

While the rest of the group realizes their neighbor, Susan, is "sick," Nick is the only one who has the realistic answer.  "She's not sick; she's dead."

The family is on the fence about leaving or staying.  Maddie wants to leave, as does Alicia, seeing no good in staying behind a world that's clearly falling apart.  However, Travis is a "fixer," Griselda needs medical help, and if they stay, perhaps riding it out will bear out good results.

I noticed in this episode is that there's still an element of "hope" that each person is holding onto.  With the exception of Nick who had his own demons, we find each character had a life prior to the world falling apart, with hopes and dreams that they still hold onto.  Liza wants to go to medical school to help people.  Ofelia, though more of a tertiary character in this episode, has a quiet determination about her.  (I predict she will become a bad ass later).  There's still hope that while not a lot is known about the disease, that the authorities will keep things contained and orderly, and Travis is just the guy to hold onto that hope as well.

We also find out with conversations between Liza and Maddie that Maddie's first husband died.  (As of episode eight, we don't know how, but we are led to believe it was unexpected).  Liza and Maddie agree to work together not as "friends" (there's no love there, haha), but as mothers.  Seeing what they've been through early on, they agree that if one of them were to be infected, they'd take care of the other.  As Liza says, it would "break Travis" if he had to take her out.

(We also know that was a huge foreshadowing.)

Daniel starts to train Chris on how to use a gun.  It's odd how Travis and Daniel didn't exactly intend to get into each others lives, they are now together, for better or for worse, and starting to do survival training.  Also, in my opinion, Daniel's steely reserved character seems to best prepared for something like this.  So that's good, for the better of the group.  We shall see where he leads us later on.

Meanwhile, Susan is still in her garden in the backyard.  Apparently, Susan and Patrick were friends of the family, and Maddie is having a tough time reconciling this infected dead person is also the friend she cared about.  She intends to "finish her," but Travis talks her out of it.  Travis, being the rational and methodical one of the group, still believes that a cure could be found and by killing her off, it gave her no chance.  Again, this idea of hope upon hope that something good would come out of this whole thing.

The families decide to get the hell out of dodge and leave town, go "east" as they had planned all along and hope they can find Griselda the help for her injuries which have gotten worse.

However, as they are about to leave the block, Patrick returns, not knowing that his wife is not only infected but dead.  Maddie sees him, and starts to shout to him to not go into the backyard.  Patrick sees Susan, she lunges towards him...only to have the military sharp shoot her in the head, she falls dead, Patrick is scuttled away, and the families are once again in a holding pattern, kept from leaving.

The military arrives, and says that the groups must be quarantined within city walls.  They don't know a lot about the infection, but anyone can have it, and they need to be contained.  Everyone and anyone may be exposed. 

I see this as a "Mr. Rogers" hope moment.  He has a famous saying about "finding the helpers."  People helping people are the ones you want to follow.  However, as know from TWD and what we are learning from FearTWD, is that there are no rules in this new world order.  That the people helping you may have ulterior motives of their own.  And that when the people who are supposed to be in charge and have answers don't, they're no better off than you are as a regular guy civilian trying to figure it out yourself.

But Mr. Rogers' hope is kind of thrown to the wayside, as a viewer.  You know this is not going to turn out well.  So while the family is riding it out, Nick is outside of the house, seeing a commercial airliner jet flying awry.  We presume to think this is Flight 462, making its crash landing into LAX or somewhere close enough to it.

Episode Two Synopsis: So Close, Yet So Far

"When civilization ends, it ends fast." - Tobias

The last episode left us with the uneasy feeling that something bad was happening, though the viewers know what's up.  The characters Madison Clark, her son Nick Clark, and Maddie's boyfriend Travis Manawa have witnessed some pretty heavy shit that they really haven't processed.

Lost in the mix was that Maddie's other child, her daughter Alicia, was supposed to rendezvous with her artist boyfriend Matt, and he never showed.  After several unanswered texts, the viewers suspect that he's been afflicted and / or bitten, and Alicia, thinking he's just blowing her off, storms to his home where we have also learned his parents are away in Las Vegas. 

When she enters his home though, she sees a struggle took place.  However, we don't see a sign of Matt...yet.

Concurrently, after witnessing the so-called death of Nick's dealer Cal, in panic mode. Travis tries to contact his son, Chris.  We have learned that Travis has a contentious relationship with his son, and Chris' mother Liza has said that Chris doesn't want to speak with Travis.  We learn a little bit more about Chris as the episode unfolds.

Travis and Maddie are now discussing the possibility of going to the desert out east, to "wait it out."  This turns out to be telling as the series moves on, and antithetical to survival.  

Maddie was also trying to contact Alicia, who has discovered Matt who is suffering from a very high fever...this so-called "virus" that the public is being slowly warned about ("stay in" and "don't leave the house" if you have the symptoms, et cetera, et cetera).  Matt hasn't told Alicia that he was bitten.  But at this point, Travis and Maddie have reconnected with Alicia.  Seeing as they've both borne witness to a walker and what Nick has told them about the church, they suspect that Matt's sickness is that he was attacked by a biter.  We find this to be true, as Travis discovers his wound.

At this point, we know that the "virus" is acquired by being bitten or scratched by a carrier.  What the public also doesn't know is that it's not airborne.  Matt encourages Alicia and her family to leave the house, that his parents will be back soon.  From my perspective, this was the first real hits-close-to-home loss that the family felt, discarding Cal who was a friend of Nick's.

We see Chris, meanwhile, taking a city bus into the center to follow some of the news stories that are unfolding.  Travis has been desperately trying to contact his son, only to have Liza tell him that Chris doesn't want to speak with him. At this point, information is "as learned," and even then, the public is slow to find out since the masses are starting to have a panic assuming the worst.

As news is slowly unfolding though, others who are refusing to panic are just going on with their lives, evident with a birthday party that is across the street from Travis and Maddie's home.  The parents claim that they've gotten many cancellations due to the "bug" that is infecting the city.  Innocently enough, of course, but Nick says, "It's like no one is paying attention." 

Something that I felt was missing from the Walking Dead parent show is that we didn't really get a sense of what life was like before the outbreak.  People were taking buses, eating at diners, having children's birthday parties.  Mostly, what we do know is that Travis and Maddie have just started to incorporate their families together, warts and all with the fact that Chris and Alicia seem want nothing to do with their respective parent and that Nick is in a downward spiral of addiction. 

Preparing for the worst, and ultimately going to the desert or so they think, Maddie heads to her school to load up on supplies.  The school is empty...at least, we presume.  Back at home, she tells Nick and Alicia to stay put.  Alicia has better ideas, and tries to escape to see Matt again.  Nick begs her not to leave -- she believes it's because Nick is being selfish, but Nick is trying to keep her safe.  He starts to convulse, and Alicia stays behind to help him. 

Meanwhile, we see Tobias again, Maddie's student who carried a knife with him.  He returns, of course, for his knife that Maddie had confiscated earlier.  As the scene unfolds, they grab what they can -- supplies, canned food, drugs (for Nick's weaning). 

As they leave, remember the school is supposed to be "empty," they hear noises on the intercom.  Maddie heads to the auditing room and sees who she thinks is Principal Artie (Obama!)...but it's Zombie Obama, as Artie is now infected.  He attempts to bite Tobias, after a struggle ensues, Maddie knocks Artie out with a fire extinguisher. 

The story turns to the Travis/Liza/Chris dynamic, as we now see that Chris is in the downtown area, where riots are breaking out.  Citizens are questioning the police and National Guard, then quickly turns to blaming them.  A walker was shot, and the crowd sees it as an unprovoked shooting.  The city personnel are treating the bodies and situation as "hazardous material," and riot squads arrive to handle the crowds. 

We are introduced in this episode to the other family dynamic, of the Salazars: the father, Daniel, who operates a downtown barber shop; the mother, Griselda; and daughter, Ofelia.  While the world is panicking outside of his shop, he's still cutting hair and looks to be closing his shop down.  We learn more about him through the remaining episodes.

Travis and Liza locate Chris in the downtown area, and start to plot their escape.  As Salazar is closing his shop, Travis begs him to let them ride it out until the police get things under control.  Daniel refuses, says, "Go to the police."  Travis tells him they're the danger.  Griselda persuades him to the do the right thing, so Daniel allows Travis and his family to come in.   

The electrical grid starts to fail and slowly, the city starts to black out.  Travis talks to Maddie, who is now at home, one last time.  He tries to convince her to get a head start, to head east, and he'll find a way to get them to meet.  She refuses, says they'll wait it out until he returns.  We find out later, this move ends up being very prudent. 

We start to see in this episode how quickly things fell apart once Patient Zero was infected. 

From the viewing perspective, I'd have liked to see a slower descent.  But as we all know, life is not perfect nor pretty, and Tobias' words rung true, that when it ends, it ends fast. Tobias was also one of the few who, probably like many conspiracy theorists we know, was quickly dismissed, but was the only one who was prepared all along.  And no one is prepared, least of all the people who are supposed to be "helping," like the police, law enforcement and military.

Lastly, we start to see how families were separated, but how tribes were formed.  Maddie could have left Travis with her own children, but she chose not to.  I'm sure on the main show, many of the people got separated against their wishes, but were hoping against hope that they'd end up together.  We know that shit doesn't happen. 

But with tribes starting to form, the Manawas are now indebted to the Salazars, or as Daniel calls it in Episode Three, "keeping score."  Human nature is interesting, and as Travis said in Episode One...nature always wins. 

Episode One Synopsis: "Pilot"

"In man versus nature, nature...always...wins," Travis Manawa, Fear the Walking Dead

My biggest question about the brain virus that starts to attack dead people was always...

How did it start?

From a personal point of view, I don't want to see civilization as its already on its decline.

But civilization starting on its descent?  Well, I can get behind that shit.  Which is why, once again, I prefer seeing how it all started on Fear as opposed to TWD.

After watching the entire six episode series of season one, my husband noticed that I was transfixed by what I watched.  And I was.  But I realized there was more to just walkers and chopping off heads and people oblivious to what was really happening out in the world.

I felt like I was participating in a literature class.

Admittedly, it makes me want to kind of watch The Walking Dead with this fresh set of eyes, and see if these parallels exist there.  But I noticed that there is almost an arc, a story that focuses around Travis Manawa's English class, and what he tells his students as when most people thought kids were out with a simple "virus."

Now, on a personal note, I happen to think Cliff Curtis, who plays Travis Manawa, is a very attractive man.  Add in the fact that he plays an English teacher and well...I'm sweating him.  In his class, he's discussing the book "To Build A Fire" by Jack London with his students.

The theme is "Man vs. Nature" in the effort to stay alive.  You can substitute any catch phrase that we discuss life and survival.  "Survival of the Fittest."  "Nature vs. Nurture."

In discussing a scene where a man tries to cut open a dog to create warmth, Travis in essence foreshadows what is about to happen...."Nature always wins."

Nature.  Always.  Wins.

Now, of course since I know how the first season ends (and presumably, you who is reading here does too), I can say that this was a warning for how Travis, and his tribe, has changed within the course of a few weeks.  There is always a struggle with man vs. nature.  Since we ultimately know that walkers or biters or grabbers represent "nature" (things we can't control), man is the one who has to change.  Whether he wants to or not.

Which brings us to "Patient Zero."  We find out her name was Gloria, a friend of Nick Clark, who is the son of Madison, Travis' partner (I believe they are not married, but they call her his "wife" later on, so I'll just use domestic partner for now).  Madison works at the same school as Travis, where she is a guidance counselor.

Need I say, all the ironies in the world that Madison helps guide children to make better decisions about their future for a living...and her own son has been in and out of rehab for heroin addiction.  His escapism and high from heroin is usually enough to get him away from his reality. 

Until...he sees his friend Gloria in the "shooting gallery" eating the face of a dead junkie.  Then all bets are off. 

Yes, we have been introduced to "Patient Zero," or presumably she is.  Whatever high Nick had has totally worn off, and completely traumatized, he runs into traffic, where he is subsequently hit by a car.

When he tries to describe what he saw in the hospital, the nurses, doctors and even his own family think he's delusional.  The only person who is willing to believe him is Travis, thinking that when Nick says, "If it didn't come out of the powder, it came out of me.  And that is insane," when he describes what he saw in the heroin den, Travis doesn't think that the drugs would make him see things of that nature.

Travis decides to take a look himself.  He didn't see any walkers in the shooting den, or Gloria for that matter, but he sees an extraordinary amount of blood and runs into someone who also saw something terrifying.  "Don't kill me!" the man screams as he runs away from Travis.

Travis tells Madison that what Nick saw was more than likely true, she claims he's using this moment with Nick to repair things with Chris, his own son.

Chris, on the other hand, we learn lives with his mother, Liz.  Chris is upset with his father and refuses to see him on his designated custodial weekend.  Liz takes his side.  Again, we see real life interspersed by some weird goings-on in the outside world. 

What is fascinating about this episode is that life is pretty much going on as usual.  The story of survival hasn't even really started.  You can tell that things are a little bit *off* in the outside world, though.  Besides Madison being told by Principal Artie (whom my husband and I call "Principal Obama," because he looks like Barack Obama, natch) that many kids are missing school and being kept home with a nasty virus.

One of her students, Tobias, who appears to be a typical outsider kid who keeps to himself, is stopped at the metal detectors.  He tells Madison that he's carrying a knife for survival, that essentially any plans for the future (going to college, any plans, really) is changed because of this virus that's spreading...and no one knows what it is.  Of course, Madison thinks this is a panic mode for Tobias, and that it's simply a hoax to get people in an uproar.

When Travis tells Maddie that something bad happened at the shooting gallery, she says that she wants to see it too.  With Tobias' ranting, Nick's relapse and accident, along with what Travis says he saw and reports of a highly contagious virus, it's evident that she thinks there is something to it, too.

I also thought it was a little eerie that when they were driving to the dilapidated church that served as a heroin den, you saw images of people just standing in the background, with signs of the "missing" throughout the city.  These are some of the first walkers that no one realizes are infected at first.

Madison goes into the church with Travis.  While she notes that the church/shooting den was a "violent place," they later learn that Nick has left the hospital when there are several patients who code, and no one is paying attention to him.

Criminals are very manipulative.  Something that's not necessarily in this show or TWD or even shows like Special Victims Unit, just something in real life if someone has socio- or psychopathic tendencies.  They'll also more than likely be the people who gain the most power (as we've also seen in The Walking Dead with the likes of the Governor and Negan) in situations like these.  Nick is always able to get what he wants, from his mother, his sister, doctors, even drug dealers...the nurse whom he escaped from had loosened his restraints so he could use the bed pan.  Probably, in hind sight, it was a good move that he left...we later see that hospitals and presumably their morgues have become ground zero in the dead turning.

If there's one thing I hope, is that we learn more about Maddie's back story with her children.  Like TWD, I hope that there will be stories told in the past.  Her other child, daughter Alicia, discusses their "dad," who I initially presumed was just out of the picture, like Travis' ex-wife Liz (whom we are also introduced to in this episode).  Turns out he had died and was really beloved by his neighbors and friends.

Seems as though Nick's demons are way too powerful.  And if there's anything I know about an addict...they can't just turn it off.  They need to WANT to turn it off.  Nick is a classic escape artist when it comes to his addictions, where he's escaping from life and reality.  (Which is kind of ironic, if you think about it...ultimately, the end game is to escape death by getting bit by an infected person.)

Maddie and Travis are now determined to find Nick.  However, when they are asking some neighbors and friends, they inadvertently tip off his dealer, a neighborhood kid named Cal.  In another story line, we discover that Alicia has a boyfriend named Matt, who mysteriously disappears and is not responding to texts or calls from her. 

While Travis and Maddie are heading home, they hit a traffic jam.  But there's a ton of police presence with helicopters and warnings to stay in their cars.  Gun shots ring out.  Travis decides to take a different route on the freeway.

We later find out that footage has been leaked from this what Travis thought was a "high speed gone bad."  Turns out that in this footage, a person who was presumed dead attacks the paramedic and chaos ensued.

Imagine what we know from The Walking Dead now as opposed to what life was like before that.  It's easy to forget that in the pre-apocalyptic world, no one knew what the fucking fuck was going on.

Travis overhears "rumors," that people are spreading, such as airborne toxins, water contamination, and the virus that people have been getting.  He realizes that this is all linked to what Nick saw in the shooting gallery and what he saw.  A half day is called at school, and everyone is told to just go straight home. 

In the meantime, Nick and Cal meet at a shady diner.  (I swear, it's the same place that Jules and Vincent went to in Pulp Fiction.)  Anyway, Cal is in survival mode as a dealer, and he hears about how Nick had seen some shit when he had taken the junk he bought.  After asking questions, it's evident that he believes Nick would rat on him, especially when he discovers that Nick had witnessed some heavy shit while high. Nick demanded to know what was in his "stuff."  Cal and Nick go for a ride, and in a struggle, Nick accidentally shoots and kills Cal.

When he locates Maddie and Travis, clearly, he's shaken about what just happened.  He leads them to where Cal's body was.  Travis is rationalizing his behavior: the shooting was in self defense, he should be fine.  However, the body is no longer there.  While leaving the area, they see someone walking towards the truck.  Seeing it was Cal, but not realizing he's infected, Walker Cal lunges at Travis, and he's able to push Cal away.  Nick hits Cal several times with his car...each time, not *killing* killing him, once and for all.

Like life, the end provided more questions than answers for our fearless team. 

In summary, we've met essentially the main cast for now: Maddie, Travis, Nick, Alicia, Liz and Chris, with small parts with Principal Artie, Tobias, Cal and Matt.

While we rewatched season one, and specifically this episode, my husband said that what was fascinating about this show is that we pretty much know right away that all you have to do is die, and you're infected.  This doesn't even get mentioned or acknowledged until season two of the main show.  The only problem is now, while the dead are turning into walkers, no one is aware that they need a traumatic brain injury to rest, completely.

Symbolism is rampant in this episode.  Of course, it starts in the church and school.  "Church" is a place of worship, where one goes to cleanse oneself from his or her transgressions.  Yet, in this episode, it's abandoned, desolate and broken down, and a spot of debauchery and filth and drug addiction.  A symbol for the ugliness and what's broken in the world.

School, a higher learning institution that conducts itself in an orderly fashion, has become a place where rumors and conspiracy theories abound.  Like the Internet.  Many scenes take place in the L.A. River...it isn't even a fucking river!  And those who are supposed to be the helpers (because remember...Mr. Rogers always told us to find the helpers) are getting offed for trying to help (cops, paramedics, nurses).  There are shitloads of questions, not enough answers, and it's every man for his freaking self.

Travis warned us early on in this episode is that in the struggle between man and nature, nature will always be victorious.  He has no idea how prophetic those words are going to become.

Patient Zero

I am a weird person.

If you've ever had the opportunity to meet me, or follow me on various forms of social media, or even consider yourself a part of my most intimate inner circle, you'll know that I am a walking contradiction sometimes.

I am a pacifist and a hippie at heart.  But I am a loudmouth sports fan who tweets out curse words like it's my job.

I love taking care of myself in a holistic and 360 degree way.  Yet I run on Dunkin and love junk food.  I guess I have a wellness business to counteract all that.  I love eating vegetarian meals and trying out vegan options.  Yet, there's nothing like a good cheeseburger.  Am I right?

I claim to not watch much television.  But the TV I do watch adds absolutely nothing to culture. I used to love those stupid reality shows on VH-1 (think: Rock of Love, I Love New York, Flavor of Love).  And as I write these words down, I have the television on in the background.  But I'm listening to the 1980s music channel.  Yes, I consider myself a music aficionado.  But nothing like a classic song from 30 years ago can get me going.

And I started a blog on the great Showtime show Dexter because I literally could not stop talking about it.  I wanted to discuss the episodes.  I felt like there was a deeper meaning if I really looked for it.  At a Dexter viewing party, I told the producer of the show that Dexter was like Hamlet.  He found that amusing.  I feel like though I graduated from college 18 years ago, I'd have loved to do a term paper on that very topic.  (And ask me how I feel about Hamlet...or Shakespeare, for that matter).

After the show ended, I found that I watched a lot more television, current television shows (I've been known to do a marathon of Law & Order: SVU for entire days...yet, I don't have a Netflix account, and I love Orange is the New Black.  Go figure).

Nothing was able to replace my passion for Dexter.  Certainly, nothing I felt like talking to people about week after week, or writing about for that matter.

And definitely not that HORRIBLE show featuring just terrible, awful and reprehensible people, The Walking Dead.

**ducks**

Look, everyone is entitled their opinions.  I just never cared for the show.  Someone once told me that they "hate watched" a certain show (not TWD), and I thought, wow.  That's a GREAT term, describes me perfectly. 

It's not like I didn't give it a college try.  My husband is not only a huge fan of the show, he's really big into comic books (not the TWD comic, because of course), but also he LOVES zombie stuff. 

This may surprise you, but those are two items that I couldn't care less about myself. 

This was why I couldn't quite get into the show: I felt like the chaos that ensued post-apocalypse left me feeling chaotic, as a viewer.  I could never quite enjoy myself or enjoy any stories that unfolded.   I also loathed most of the characters, including Rick Grimes, whom apparently everyone in America loves.  I don't doubt he's bad ass.  I just didn't find him that attractive of a character. 

But also, the way my mind works, I wanted to know WHY and HOW.  WHY was there a zombie and walking dead apocalypse?  And HOW did it happen?  Was this an airborne virus?  Who was patient zero?  Is there a cure?  Will they find a cure?  I guess the scientific geek in me wanted to know all that stuff.  I just hated being thrown into this world and had to accept everything at face value. 

People go week to week wondering if their favorite character is going to get offed and be on the couch as a "special guest" on Talking Dead.  I go week to week wondering if a cure is found, and we learn more about the infection, how to stop it. 

I find the whole idea of a zombie virus and the fear around it a metaphor.  Now that is something I can get behind, more than just the living people chopping off heads of the walkers.  The metaphor is that there could literally be a virus or illness that wipes off the human race.  That I believe could happen someday if we are not careful. 

And look at what's happened in the past that has caused chaos and ostracizing as far as sickness goes.  Go back to the bubonic plague outbreak.  Even things like HIV/AIDS, ebola, flesh eating...they can spread quickly and deftly.  And when they start, and people start dying and exhibiting symptoms...EVERYONE loses their mind, and it's all about the survival until answers are given, and solutions are found.

So that whole intro has brought me full circle.

The first time I watched Dexter, I didn't quite get the allure of a guy who was a blood spatter expert by day, and a serial killer by night.  I gave it a chance because I saw the intricacies and complexities of human nature.  Even Dexter himself, played by the ever brilliant Michael C. Hall (whom I will never NOT love), was a perfect example of that.  He was a sociopath, yet played well with others.  He was a blood spatter expert and dealt with crime scenes all day, yet got lightheaded and ill when someone staged a crime scene with the most blood he'd ever seen in his life.  He killed people and showed no mercy to the bad guys, and loved and protected children with his fiercest devotion.

Save the whole serial killer part, I could be Dexter.  We all could be.  There's a cognitive dissonance we try to reconcile every day in everything that we do.

***************************

So that whole monologue was an introduction to my newest obsession.  You know how I said I didn't care for The Walking Dead?  Imagine my reaction when my husband told me that there would be a prequel.  Yippie-Kai-Yay.  Whatever.  Initially I just didn't care.  But I thought...wait...

A prequel?  Maybe this will answer my questions about the source of the virus and how people reacted.  In the first season of TWD, the one episode that I actually watched and was intrigued by was when the tribe went to the CDC, and the doctor there was able to isolate the virus...he just didn't know how to cure it.  It was later discovered, they all had it.  All you had to do was die, and you'd turn.  It took way too long to disclose that. 

So I decided to give Fear the Walking Dead a chance. 

And man, I am SO glad that I did.

At the same time, I wanted to get back into the blogging game.  I have several sports blogs and podcasts.  (Under another nom de plume).  But I wanted to talk about something else. 

FWD fit the bill.

Not only were my questions answered, I've been rewatching the first season and finding more links and foreshadowing to later episodes.  I mean, this is freaking post-modern literature interpretation, or rather post-apocalyptic interpretation. 

One of my criticisms that many shared with me was that the descent happened quickly.  I thought it was valid, even agreed with it.  All we know is that there were several virus outbreaks occurring.  When it infiltrated the big city, that's when the troubles began.

Yet, when I rewatched the first season, I realized why the quick descent was important.  In fact, the character Tobias, one of the students at focal characters Madison Clark and Travis Manawa's high school, said, "When civilization ends, it ends fast."

Yes.  Yes it does.  Yes it will.

If I wanted to know how the descent began?  I got it.  I wanted to see how communities like Alexandria and Woodbury began?  It was a way to contain, control and keep tabs on people. 

Mister Rogers once said that when there's trouble, find the helpers.  There will always be people helping.  Which is why when there's trouble, we find a police officer, a fire fighter, or in my case, "an adultier adult" (PS I'm 40).

What happens when the helpers don't know?

Chaos.

And for the way my brain and mind works and processes information, I was able to understand and feel comfortable with the chaos.

For once more, I finally feel like I have a passion for something to talk about week in and week out.

So I am restarting and rebranding this blog as my critiques on episodes (spoilers and analysis) as "Babe Harbor Butcher Blogs."  To acknowledge my previous blog to the wonderful world of Dexter.  But to bring back my passion for a media that combines my love of psychology and human nature and controlled chaos.

Welcome to my site on Fear The Walking Dead.

In the next few days I will be posting critiques and analysis on each episode of the first season.  And if I have time, character analysis.

Stay tuned...

Get Thee To A Nunnery

Consider yourself fairly warned.  This post is going to have a bunch of spoilers, spoilers galore.  If you have not seen the final Dexter episode STOP READING NOW!!!

Okay.  Is the coast clear?  Time to let 'er rip.

Like many people I suppose, I fell in love with Michael C. Hall when he was on Six Feet Under. While he did not play the central character, David Fisher provided a critical look into the life of a guy who did everything by the book, but was hiding the fact that he was gay. A complex character who realized he was his own worst enemy, Six Feet Under's writers provided us with closure to all the characters who touched our lives in one way or another from that show.  David Fisher got his happy ending with his longtime boyfriend, as they raised a family together.  And for those of you familiar with the episode and show, right before he passes, and he gets a vision of Keith in his splendor and youth...it gets me EVERY TIME.

However, I did not see the show when it was first aired.  I did not have HBO for a long time, but I moved and got a free trial for about a year.  So I got to watch all those great HBO shows, and Six Feet Under was one of them.  It was very fresh in my mind in 2006 when Dexter started on Showtime.

The concept was cool.  A serial killer who hunted serial killers...and had a day job as a forensic expert.  I have a thing for anti-heroes, I mean, I studied Russell Banks' works in college. What struck me was that Dexter Morgan wanted to be normal, yet controlled his urges by "taking out the trash," the criminals who have skirted the system.  I consider myself a person with high moral standards.  Yet, every week, I found myself rooting for a kill.

Who the hell am I???

I was not alone.  There were thousands of other blood lovers out there, just like me.  We hung out on the Dexter bulletin boards.  I started this blog, though I couldn't write for it again after the ending of Season Four, till this year anyway when I knew it was over after this season.

Seems as though the bloom was off the rose with Dexter for a while for some of these blood lovers.  I used to attend viewing parties with the Showtime crew (they provided us free booze and food, and we got to meet the actors!), but SHO stopped doing them for whatever reason.  Most people thought that Dexter had gone downhill.  In my opinion, I didn't think it went downhill necessarily.  Just a few things happened that changed Dexter's world dramatically which meant he couldn't kill indiscriminately.

1) He became a father.  I never liked the introduction of Harrison. I also never liked Rita, I was happy to see her go, but I was traumatized by the way she went.  The whole thing with Dexter wanting to assimilate into real life never really was a selling point to me.  He's a serial killer. He's different. I know forensic experts make a shit ton of money, but let's face it: he had to be paying Jaime like 40-grand a year to keep her with those crazy hours.  Shit, I woulda quit if I was her, with the crazy schedule Dexter kept and last minute changes!

2) Deb found out.  I also never bought the whole incestuous storyline.  That creeped me out more than John Lithgow's buttocks in Season Four.  Once Deb knew, nothing good was to come out of it.  This came to a head in the final episode.

3) Trinity.  Damn, if I want to live under the radar so I can be a serial killer, I'm moving to Miami! (note to any law enforcement agents: this will never happen. Just trust me on this)

So given all that preamble, I must confess that a comic book-like character like Dexter is something I never thought I'd get hooked on. Well, never say never. And like many shows I've gotten attached to over the years, this was one I wanted to see through.

The ending reminded me a lot of The Sopranos.  I don't remember anyone being happy about that.  Yet, six years later, we STILL talk about it.  We wonder - is Tony alive or dead?  Was that Meadow who came into the restaurant?  Some shows are not going to have the closure that Six Feet Under graciously gave us (and with a show where death was a central storyline, it made PERFECT sense).  I mean, think about life itself.  Life often has ambiguous endings, and people looking for closure often don't get it.  They may get comfort, but not closure.

So, a few weeks ago, I was talking to some other blood lovers.  We were discussing the scenarios that would make us happy.  One of them being Dexter finding himself on the table.  Some people were okay with that.  I was not.  I didn't mind an ambiguous ending so long as I knew Dexter was alive.  (By the way - if you haven't read the Clyde Phillips interview with E! online about how he envisioned the ending...trust me, you don't want to pass that up). Also the whole idea of him being on the table...not sure who would have had him on the table.  Ya know? I wouldn't have been happy had it been Deb who had him on the table. 

The other scenario which made me happy was the idea of Hannah, Harrison and Dexter, holding hands in Buenos Aires, with the sun setting in the background.  It meant that they all had a clean slate.  Almost a rebirth. Hannah was where she wanted to be, Dexter was with someone who he didn't have to hide who he was, and maybe he could finally provide some stability to his son.

I guess the closest thing to that was somewhere in the middle.  Yes, we know now Dexter didn't exactly DIE...but the life as he knows is no longer.  We know that Harry is not a part of his conscience anymore.

Yet, I think what bothered me most is how Dexter kind of martyred himself.  Deb would have wanted him to be happy.  She even said as much.  Yet, at the same time, he's responsible, directly or indirectly, ruining those he managed to have feelings for.

I often said that Dexter reminded me of Hamlet.  It was his own hesitation that led to his demise and of those he loved around him.

1.) Rita.  Had he killed Arthur Mitchell when they were out in the woods, away from everyone else, perhaps Rita's plane would have crashed on the way to the Keys like I had hoped (that's how much I disliked her).  But rather he got sympathetic when he saw that Trinity was crying over a hurt deer.  Really?  And how much did he learn from Trinity?  That your family suffers silently while you kill everyone?

2.) Deb.  The second he got Debra involved in the whole Dark Passenger and Harry's Code business, she was a goner.  Whether she went down a spiral of her own doing, it seemed like the writing was on the wall that she was doomed, now that I think about it.  Maybe he didn't have the urge to kill Oliver/Daniel.  But I guess he didn't learn a goddamn thing about hesitating with Trinity right?

3.) Maria LaGuerta.   Her death never sat right with me, because she didn't fit the code.  Plus, maybe last year should have been the last season, with Debra killing Dexter in that container, instead of LaGuerta.  Maria annoyed me at times, but she didn't deserve to go, as a byproduct of Dexter's arrogance. 

4.) Harrison.  Seriously, dude, you get parent of the year for sending your kid to Argentina with a FUGITIVE.  I liked Hannah, but come on.  Not that swift a move there, huh, Ex-Lax?

5.) Harry.  They always believed he died of natural causes, but we find out that's far from the truth in later seasons.  Harry, in a sense, was Doctor Frankenstein: he couldn't bear to take responsibility for the monster he had created.  

See a pattern here?  Another thing that didn't sit right was how Deb went.  Yes, I totally get the whole taking off life support thing.  Judging from what I knew and felt about her, I would have gathered she would not have wanted to live like that.  But not allowing her a proper burial?  Disallowing people like Masuka, Quinn and Bautista a proper goodbye?  Selfish right to the end.

Yet, he was acknowledging that she was also his victim.  It was also the first time that he was able to reciprocate a feeling, a true feeling. While he was in shock after Rita's death, he never truly felt towards another human the way he did for Deb.  While I believe he loved Hannah, let's face it: the chemistry between them was amazing.  Being around each other 24/7...he may have wanted to put her back on that table anyway after a few weeks in Argentina.

So the last scene.  Dexter is living alone, presumably, as a lumberjack in what's to be perceived as the Pacific Northwest (I've seen the writers suggest it's Oregon).  If you keep to yourself, you can't get hurt nor can you hurt anyone else.

Yet, watching the ending from the west coast channel, a few things we noticed (my husband and I) the second time around.

1.) He tells Harrison "One last time" that he loves him. I caught that the first time around, my husband did not.  I thought Dexter was actually just going to either jump in with Deb or just coast to the hurricane.

2.) Is it any coincide that he's by water where he's made his new life?

Prior to this episode, whether they knew it or not, Dexter had enablers in his life.  Whether it was Rita giving him his freedom in the form of "man cave," Deb not asking questions, Quinn saving his own butt by not talking about what he suspected, Vogel, Harry, even Hannah, or the police department by giving him unlimited access to his potential victims.  Dexter has always just wanted solitude.  By chopping trees in Oregon, perhaps he can achieve something that those around him who have tried to help could not do...and that's give him peace.

Yet, at the same time, his own purgatory, like Hamlet's uncle, is to walk the Earth alone while the people he cares about are thousands of miles away in Argentina.  Perhaps we needed to see that the Dark Passenger was eradicated in the next to last episode.  What we wanted was closure, since we got that every season, I guess it was expected now.

But like life, there are many ambiguities.  Dexter was one of them.  I felt the writers did us a disservice.  They took the easy way out.  Dexter as the loner lumberjack, sitting alone each night in his room, is basically his prison.  My idea was he'd go to Argentina, holding hands with Harrison and Hannah, then maybe as an old man, he returns to Miami and starts taking out the trash again.  Now we're just left to wonder.  Is that good television, or bad?

Isn't It Romantic?

There have been several contrasts this season.  Several images of water.  Several images of Dexter, the serial killer who has always maintained an aura of control, where he is rendered weak, in a vulnerable position.

Yet, the more vulnerable Dexter becomes, the more I realize that I'm going to miss this fuckin' show when it's gone.

Dexter is usually shown on his boat.  He's usually on it by himself, taking "out the trash," as he says.  But this year has been different.  There's been a lot of shots on the water.  He was out on the boat with Vogel and Deb, bonding after saving Deb's life.  Then he saved Hannah on the boat she was on.  He was shaken, obviously, in tonight's episode, as he took out trash he wasn't expecting to (I won't give up the spoiler!!!), and at the end of the episode when he went to the doc.

The imagery of water is powerful.  What we know about Dexter is that he was a witness to a traumatic incident involving his mother that changed his life and path forever.  This caused him to live his life by the code.

But isn't the imagery of water supposed to be a metaphor for Mom?  Like we're in water, and then we are born and then we are shocked into being?

Plus with the idea that it's only women who are brought into Dexter's inner circle...

But...isn't it romantic though?  I never liked Rita for Dexter, in fact, he was so guarded with her, that he really had to hide himself.  Same with Deb, for awhile, till she got to know the real him.

I loved Lumen, and wished she was able to come back in some capacity...but I love love LOVE Hannah for Dexter.  I think just by seeing his ass (even if it is just filmed) and how connected he is to her, makes me see that she is really the one for him.  

He's not as guarded with those women, but I can only believe it's going to end badly this year.  Like with Dexter on the table or something, and I don't know if I can accept that.  When season four ended, I couldn't sleep, eat or talk about it.  My husband watched episodes with me in another room, and I couldn't bear to even LISTEN to it. 

This season is different.  It's almost like a love story.  So you know it's going to end badly somehow. 

"Every contact leaves a trace.  Everything you touch, is changed in some way. but the changes they're never what we anticipate." - Dexter Morgan

The Love Boat

Passions.  Myles Raymond in Sideways was a writer, but had a passion for wine.  He met a woman, Maya, who also shared that passion.  She was a love interest because of this shared passion.  When he talked about wine, he became the closest version to himself.  He was relaxed, loose, accessible. 

"Dating is harder than I remember." #dexter
— Taryn It Up! (@TarynItUpNY) August 5, 2013

When Dexter is out with Cassie, and she's asking a lot of the probing small talk questions (mostly, about himself, which you may notice, serial killers may have a tough time opening up, or at the very least, finding out something that interests them besides, you know, killing people.  He talks about his boat, but what does he do on his boat?  Takes out the trash.  I'm not even sure the guy likes to fish, knows how to or even likes the open sea.  Seems the only thing he does like is that the ocean hides most of his secrets.

Secrets, that only a few (living) people know.  Secrets, that only women know.  

Women are funny.  I should know, I am one.  Yet, looking back on Dexter's love interests throughout his time, the people he's been most comfortable about are women. (And what is it with the women with accents? Remember the nanny from season five? We never heard what happened to her...Jaime just showed up in season six...we didn't even know Bautista had a sister prior to that season.)

Funny thing is, almost every season, #dexter had a love interest, Rita, Lila, Lumen, Hannah, now Cassie. He was most open w/ lumen & Hannah
— Taryn It Up! (@TarynItUpNY) August 5, 2013

What do Rita and Cassie have in common?  They only know the superficial side of Dexter - the sweet, sensitive protective guy.  Of course, Rita had a child with Dexter; Cassie sees the child Dexter is now raising (plus, she HAS to know that his wife was murdered).  Single, hardworking dad, who is a good cook and cute?  Shit, that's a CATCH.  But going back to women...sure, Cassie was asking a lot of probing questions, but she wasn't digging deep. She'll fall in love with him, for sure. 

I made some interesting revelations with tonight's episode.  What was fascinating is that I made a note to myself that I should have made in like season six, let alone the final season.

I think Dexter is capable of loving someone else. For what it was worth, I think he really did love Rita, and hated himself for putting her in the position she later ended up in.

But I think his true self came out with Lumen, Hannah, even Deb and Dr. Vogel:  they ALL knew/know Dexter's dark secret.

What's more?  They all accepted him for it.  They even see the good, the REAL deep good, he has in him.  And in some fashion, he's loved and trusted each of them in their own way. Vogel is convinced he is unable to do that.  I think in his wise aging, he has found a way to balance the two.

They've been on his boat, too, but they understand the meaning of it too -- the open sea that hides the truth from the general public.  A general public that would never get a serial killer who kills only people no one will miss.

I think Dexter is gonna hook up with Zack!
— Taryn It Up! (@TarynItUpNY) August 5, 2013

(SPOILER ALERT - A LITTLE)

Lastly, I am not sure how I feel about the "protege," Zack. I know in the books, Cody (Rita's son), was groomed to take over for Dexter.  (editor's note: I've never read the books, myself, just based on what people have told me.)  I feel like Dr. Vogel is like this mad scientist, creating her own versions of Frankenstein but in her own psychopathic vision.  Yet, she was on to something with Zack.  Though, he seems to be a little creepier now...but hey, I'm sure Dexter was when he was a teenager too.

And I don't know what the point of introducing Cassie is...unless she becomes a victim of Zack...or...

Hannah.

Seriously, not sure what she's gonna do if she finds out he is interested in another woman.

I liked Lumen for Dexter, but she outplayed her usefulness after season five, I see that now.  I love Hannah, for Dexter, love the angle they gave her last season.

I really feel like they need to get on that proverbial Love Boat, out of town, maybe with Harrison, maybe without (now that Deb is cleaning her act up, she can take him).  I can see the Code getting muddled, and Harry is right...the more people know about him, the less effective the Code is.

If he's grooming Zack to be the next Bay Harbor Butcher, he is free to leave with Hannah, to Argentina, or wherever the boat may take them.

And with that....we are halfway done... #Dexter #TheFinalSeason
— Taryn It Up! (@TarynItUpNY) August 5, 2013